


Chronic Sunshine Forever-

by ZelTheMotanel



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZelTheMotanel/pseuds/ZelTheMotanel
Summary: Tommyinnit angst before/ during his exile
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	Chronic Sunshine Forever-

**Author's Note:**

> tommy and tubbo platonic snuggling, this doesnt end happy just an fyi

No matter how much faith you have in someone, doubt always finds a way to plant itself into your mind. It was a weed, once it was there you could never get rid of it, no matter how much you tried there was always a lingering feeling. 

Tommy never thought he would feel this way about his best friend, but here he was, the night before the verdict, unable to sleep. The longer the night lagged on, the more he feared he couldn’t trust Tubbo to do the right thing. Everyone he could go to for comfort was asleep (or dead in Wilbur’s case), but there was still Tubbo.

After the first war, Tommy would wake up from night terrors, phantom pains in his chest, without thought he would go to his friend for comfort. Tubbo would sleepily fold back his blanket and pull the crying boy into his bed, offering comfort with soft hands in his hair or holding him in his arms. No words were ever said, but the fact that Tubbo was there grounded Tommy. 

He needed his friend now, needed to be assured that everything would be okay, but the thing he was worried about was to be decided by his friend. The past few days things had been so unsure between them, it didn’t feel like Tubbo was fully there. 

Tommy found himself walking down the prime path towards L’Manberg, by instinct he was taking himself to the only place he felt safe, more, the only person that made him feel safe. 

He passed Karl’s house, walking through the short tunnel, and down the stairs. The slow growing obsidian walls coming into view. The small one by two opening just across the field. Weighing out his options, Tommy trudged his body towards the entrance of L’Manberg. He rubbed his face with both hands, taking a step into the walls. He was doing this.

The floating lamps were still lit, casting a light shadow under his feet as if it were the afternoon. Tommy was barefoot, feeling all the cracks and stones under his feet as he stepped up the first set of stairs, and then the second, and third.

There was Tubbo’s house.

He knew where the spare key was, but he hovered at the door. A week ago he would’ve gone in without a second thought, but now there was doubt.

It always hurt the most when the person you wanted comfort from was causing you pain. After everything Tubbo was there for him, so why now had he suddenly drawn away. Tommy didn’t think he’d done anything wrong lately. Sure he’d robbed and burned George’s house, but those were things he normally would do.

He took a breath, centering himself in front of the door. It was just any other night.

Easily finding the key on top of the window frame, Tommy opened the door as quietly as he could. Thankfully, the houses in L’Manberg were still new enough that the doors and floor boards didn’t creek yet, making Tommy’s steps across the room and down the stairs silent. Tommy looked up at the sound of quiet shuffling sheets.

There he was. Across the room on his small twin sized bed, was Tubbo. Sleeping like he normally did, pillow held to his chest and one foot slightly elevated on the foot board. He always claimed it was comfortable but it just seemed like back pain and a stiff neck to Tommy. 

As he got closer to the bed, Tommy could start to make out faint burn scars on his face and neck, evidence that Techno had shot the boy, evidence he wasn’t invincible. Evidence Tubbo could die.

He also noticed that Tubbo wasn’t really asleep, his eyes were open and staring at his hands. More specifically it seemed he was also staring at the scars. They went all the way up his arm and across his chest, flitting their way up his neck and barely across his face. Tommy remembers, he hadn’t seen them in a while, but remembers the first time when Tubbo had taken his shirt off. 

The pair had been working all day, drawing up designs for houses or actually building them, but the late autumn heat had gotten to the boys. Tubbo was the one that suggested it, but Tommy grabbed Tubbo by the hand and they hauled ass across the open field, past the van, and into the lake. In their haste to get in the water they hadn’t taken any clothes off but their shoes and socks. 

Tubbo undid the top three buttons of his shirt and pulled the wet cotton over and off of his body, dunking his head under the water and sloshing around. Tommy noticed the huge scar instantly. He tried not to stare. It contrasted deeply from Tubbos normal pale skin to a deep red reminder of pain. Everything was always so filled with pain. With a small smile, Tubbo had just assured Tommy that it was healing, just like everything, and it wouldn’t always look like this, it would just take time.

Tommy reached forward, tapping Tubbo on the shoulder, hoping it would scare him the least. It didn’t.

“Oh my god!” The boy on the bed snapped his head around, facing Tommy, “Jesus Christ Tommy, you made me jump! Don’t do that”

“Sorry” He mumbled in reply. 

They sat there quietly, not really knowing what to say. “Can I-”  
Tommy cut himself off. 

“Is it okay if I just-” He didn’t know how to ask, it had been so long since he needed to ask for this.

“Ca-Can I lay with you?” he finally stuttered out.

“Yea,” Tubbo folded his blanket back, “sure you can” He seemed hesitant.

Consent was given, it’s okay, you can go, Tommy told himself. But he found himself just stood there staring. 

Tubbo was wearing one of his casual shirts with an old faded logo on it, and a pair of shorts. He looked comfortable. 

“Tommy.” Tubbo’s voice cut through his thoughts. “C’mon man, are you gonna lay down or not, I’m cold”

“Yea, yea, sorry,” He sat down on the edge of the bed, turning and putting his feet under the blanket, “sorry,” pulling the covers up and scooting his body down, “sorry,” Tubbo shuffled behind him, making more room, “sorry.”

His back was to Tubbo. They had never slept like this before. They would always hug as close as possible, legs tangled and arms around the other’s back, maybe a hand in their hair, they were both very touch dependent. Needing to make sure the other was really there.

Tommy felt a light pressure on his back, then the light touch of feet on his calves. Tubbo was pressing against him.

“Hey Tommy.” He quietly mumbled.

“Hey Tubbo” He responded to the open room.

“Everything okay, Big Man?” This was weird, they didn’t normally talk.

“Yea, I just,” he sighed, “I missed my friend.” Tommy pulled his arms against his chest, hugging his hands. This was weird.

“I’m right here Tommy?” There was quiet shuffling, “We hung out today? I’m still here Tommy.”

“No I mean-,” he cut himself off, what was he even trying to say, “I miss- I miss you, but you’re right here, but it feels like you aren’t here, you know?”

Tubbo was still shuffling behind him, scooting around his blanket and adjusting his shirt. He was thinking. 

“I think I do.” He finally said after a stretch of silence, “Like, it doesn’t feel like how it used to?”

“Yea..” Tommy turned around, Tubbo was looking at him. “I’m afraid, Tubbo.”

“Of Dream?” Tubbo brushed his fingers towards Tommy’s.

“No, no,” Tommy hooked his pinky finger around Tubbo’s middle, “of being exiled.”

“Oh”

Their hushed conversation became quiet.

Tommy found himself lifting his hand up towards Tubbo’s face, he wanted to touch the scar. His curled knuckle brushed under Tubbo’s eye, the skin feeling rough, the scabs and cuts had all healed over but the skin would still never be the same. 

Tubbo’s hand slowly came up, hooking around Tommy’s wrist, not pulling it away, just holding him. The hand brushing his face softly moved up, pushing away his hair from his forehead. The scarring stopped just in Tubbo’s hairline, causing some spots where the hair thinned. Tommy held his breath. 

Was this really his Tubbo?

It felt like they had both changed so much in the past months, slowly growing apart because of things out of their control. Tommy doesn’t remember the last real conversation he’d had with the older. Even when they did hang out, it was for trivial things like sharing breakfast before a meeting, they hadn’t gotten up to mischief ever since Tubbo became president. 

Tubbo tugged on his wrist, hard.

“What the fuck?” Tommy breathed out as he was dragged in, closer to the smaller boy. 

“I miss you, Tommy.” Still pulling on Tommy, trying to get him as close to his body as possible. He knew what his decision would be tomorrow and was already mourning.

“I’m right here,” He was resisting, pulling back his arm to his chest defensively. “I’m right here, Tubbo.”

Tubbo grabbed onto his shirt with his other hand, “Tommy,” he heaved, “Tommy, please,” he sounded hysterical, “Tommy, I miss you so much,” he was crying, or more accurately he was dry heaving. “Please Tommy, why did you do this?” He was shaking, trying so desperately to pull his friend closer, he needed the solace of Tommy’s arms around his shoulders as he cried.

“What is he asking?” Tommy thought, eyebrows pushed together in confusion. He placed a hand against Tubbo’s chest to keep himself away as the smaller boy desperately tried to pull him closer. “Why was he crying, what was wrong, what did I do.” and then it clicked. And suddenly he let go. Surrendering and letting himself be pulled and feeling Tubbo’s body fit into his chest, wracked with sobs and apologies and begging.

He had already decided. Tubbo had already decided. He had already decided Tommy would be exiled.

“I’m sorry,” he felt against his chest, not a whisper anymore, closer to a shriek, “Tommy, I’m sorry, please” he pulled away to look at Tommy, his tear streaked face met a confused stare, “Please Tommy, you have to forgive me!” 

He was shrieking now. Desperately clawing at Tommy’s shirt, begging for forgiveness for something he hadn’t even done yet.

“Tubbo, you don’t have to do it.” Tommy’s hand came up to wipe away the tears on his left cheek, he smiled softly, “You don’t have to, Tubbo.”

He was hyperventilating. He had to, he knew he had to.

“I don’t want to be the bad guy, Tommy, please!” It just made him cry harder. “Everything is always my fault now! No one ever listens when I talk!”

Tommy desperately wanted to help but didn’t know how. 

He opted to tucking Tubbo under his chin, a hand behind his head and the other on his back, pulling him close. He hooked a leg around one of Tubbo’s and brought it towards him, pushing their bodies flush together.

“It’s okay,” Tommy mumbled into the older boy's hair, “I don’t blame you.” They both knew it was a lie.

Tubbo shook, silently crying, mouth open against Tommy’s red and white shirt, knuckles twisted in the fabric hard enough that they were white. They both knew it was a lie.

.

“It’s how it has to be, Tommy.”

“But you’re my friend!”

“Goodbye, Tommy.”

And he was gone. Pushed off the wall by Dream and led away. Across the open field and away from the lake, he was gone.

Tubbo’s face was suddenly wet, not from jumping in the lake, but also not from his tears. The first drop of rain splashed against his cheek, and then his hair, and finally, his suit. Soaked through to his bones. He felt cold. The day had been so warm before.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ranboo running, no, glitching? He was taking damage in the rain and his body was almost fazing away under the awning and then back into the rain.

Tubbo took a step down the obsidian wall, ignoring Fundy and Quackity’s voices yelling at him for an explanation. He wanted to talk to Ranboo.

His foot hit the wet grass.

The obsidian walls still loomed over L’Manberg, a reminder of who was really in control this whole time. 

The rain was fully coming down now and Tubbo’s steps became a little more hurried. Ranboo made it under the awning before he did, catching his breath and trying to take off his wet suit jacket. He was distracted.

Tubbo didn’t mean to startle the taller boy, but he hadn’t realized how quiet he was.

“Ranboo,” the shorter boy tugged on the others wet shirt sleeve to get his attention, “What’re you-”

“Jesus Christ, Tubbo-” Ranboo whipped around, facing Tubbo. He brought a hand up to his chest, “You scared the crap outta me.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he was still holding onto the shirt sleeve, slowly gripping it tighter, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m okay,” Ranboo pushed some wet hair out of his face, “the rain just isn’t my favorite.”

He paused for a second, “Are you okay, Tubbo?” 

“Yeah, of course I am, I just prevented a war on my country!” He said indignantly. 

Ranboo gave him a small smile and reached a hand up, “No, no, I mean”  
placing it lightly on the older boy’s chest, right over his heart. “Are you okay in here, Tubbo?” His face stitched with worry.

He sucked a breath in and wanted to back away from the taller boy, “Of course I am, I just prevented a war in my country!” He repeated. Tone almost touching into frantics. Like he was assuring himself instead of Ranboo.

“I did what was right for my country!” He defended, curling his fingers tighter in Ranboo’s sleeve. “Tommy wouldn’t listen to reason!”

Ranboo’s eyebrows drew together in worry, he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

“I did nothing wrong, Ranboo!” He was shaking ever so slightly, “It’s what is best for all of us” A quiet sniffle.

“He’ll understand later,” The first tear fell, warm and wet down his cheek, “I did the right thing” 

Ranboo moved his black hand up to wipe it away, “You did what you thought was best.”

The comfort only made the shorter boy heave harder, bringing up his other hand and desperately clutching onto the second sleeve. Shaking the taller boy as he yelled.

“I don’t want to be the bad guy,” he felt sick, sick with himself, sick with Dream, sick with everyone, “It’s not fair!” 

He rocked himself back and forth. Trying to ground himself.

He felt childish. He felt like a child in his father's work suit. He felt like a joke. This wasn’t how things were meant to go.

Ranboo pulled him in closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around Tubbo’s shoulders. Clinging desperately to him like a child, Tubbo only cried harder.

“It’s always my fault,” voice quaking as he spoke, “I always have to be the bad guy,” He took a shuddering breath in. 

Their eyes met as Tubbo pulled away from the embrace.

“I just don’t want him to die, Ranboo!” He was screaming now, “Is that too much to ask?!”

**Author's Note:**

> plz comment on anything i could change ;-; i want feedback pleathe


End file.
